For Mama, on your birthday
if there is a paradise here on earth it would be my mother.
she is the epitome of selflessness.
calm + comfort.
wise + brave.
gentle + poised.
with soulful beauty.
like flowers ache for spring, my heart craves hers even when she holds me.
my mum was born 53 years ago today on july 14 in south africa; raised between the mountains + the coast of the atlantic where my own heart will always lie.
i share these photos she took as a teenager because the summers she spent documenting the 80s make me feel nostalgic for a time where i wish i could be a fly on the wall and only fall more in love with who she was and continues to grow into beyond being just my mother.
a woman who is independent, loyal, reassuring + wise. who is fiercely protective + passionate about the world beyond her own horizons. who loves to dance + play music while she cooks the most delicious meals, who loves the ocean, collecting seashells, painting dreamy landscapes of the window views of all the houses she’s ever lived in and the places she has explored, always curious + learning.
as i myself continue to navigate life; nobody is a better mirror or confidant to reflect + discuss with than her.
in the films she later took of my brother and i documenting our childhood, she made little appearance always being behind the camera - but she was always ever-present.
i realise now she is there to capture the magic but the moment is only ever magic because she’s the one who makes it so.
this how i will always see her.
always quietly observing; letting us be free to explore on our own, whispering sweet words, playing along in our make-believe stories, being patient + laughing with us.
teaching us to be gentle + compassionate with all creatures. always holding space for us to completely feel + express ourselves, to go + live out the most brilliant adventures.
only always, no matter what, being herself; and for every spill or mess or mistake saying, “it’s okay, don’t worry, we’ll figure it out”
she compliments and shares all my inner strengths - my empathy, my understanding, and makes every fault i seem to find into something good.
she loves listening to all my dreams no matter how bizarre and i trust her with all my nightmares.
she has taught me through pure intentions, gentle honesty and by simply being true to herself. it is through that that i have been able to learn and grow in the most wild and vibrant way just by watching her, listening to her, and seeing the way she loves.
she never taught through fear so i was never afraid to fail.
i have seen her strength in hardship, her resilience in adversity and have now realised all these years later her ardent ability to make anybody see the sun through the darkest clouds. she is a lighthouse to others first and foremost making sure everyone else is safe before even figuring out her own way home.
we talk about our childhoods and we are still learning from one another every day. we laugh at all the same things. we know how the other feels even when we attempt to hide.
our intuition, our open mindedness, our endless discussions of the galaxies and our beliefs and faith in the intangible is the reason i have never stopped believing in magic.
i see you in your own mosaic. all the different chapters. as you alone, as my mother, and in parts of my own reflection; these eyes you’ve given me that reflects the earth itself. my vulnerability that freely flows from my heart unapologetically because you’ve always let me, and encouraged me to feel 110%.
i carry it with me and it makes me feel invincible and grateful beyond the stars.
“This is the recipe of life,
My mother once said to me,
Think of those flowers you plant
In the garden each year
They will teach you that people, too,
Must wilt
Fall
Root
Rise
In order to bloom”
x
it’s heaven on earth being yours,
happy birthday
ps. see more of my mother’s film photos documenting the 80s by clicking through to my lost film series here
